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29 March, 2014

EDISI PARENTING ====KAKAK SELALU SALAH?===

Oleh  : Meili Damiati

Ketika sedang asyik beraktifitas di dapur, saya mendegar jeritan si dua tahun yang sanggup membuat kening saya berkerut. Spontan saja dari jauh saya berteriak,
"Aliiiii.....jangan bikin nangis adik dooong..."

Ali yang sudah berumur 6 tahun pun lantang menjawab.
"Ga diapa-apain kok Umiii... Zahra aja yang nangis sendiri."
Hufft, dengan tampang kesal, saya beranjak dari dapur sambil ngomel, Duh, Abang... kok ga bisa main sama adik sih?!

Di sudut kamar terliihat Ali sedang asyik bermain dengan mobil-mobilannya. Sementara Zahra tampak sedang merapikan kerudung mungilnya di depan kaca sambil menggerutu.
"Zahra kenapa?" Saya pun bertanya.
"Mbut jaja mpak ni Mi... ga ica macuk.i..ih.." Jawab Zahra kesal.
Oh ternyata si kecil sedang mencoba merapikan kerudungnya dibagian wajah. Tapi karena poninya nongol terus dan tidak berhasil ia masukan dengan tangannya, jadilah dia marah besar, ha..ha...
Saya hanya bisa tersenyum getir mengingat spontanitas tadi yang telah langsung menyalahkan Ali sebagai abangnya. Saya sungguh merasa bersalah sudah mematikan sel-sel anak dengan selalu menyalahkannya tanpa mengecek dulu kebenaran yang ada.

Hingga masa-masa kecil saya pun jadi teringat kembali, saat orangtua memarahi saya karena tangisan adik. Betapa kesalnya saya waktu itu. Karena apa-apa yang membuat adik menangis, pastilah saya yang disalahkan. Hmmm... ternyata enak sekali ya jadi anak bungsu? pikir saya waktu itu agak sedikit sinis.
Suatu hari, disaat Ali beramain dengan Zahra dan merajuk karena mainannya diambil adik, spontan Kakekpun menasehatinya,
"Ali!!! kalau mainan kamu diambil adik, ya biasa. Dia kan adik Ali. Kalau Ali yang merebut mainan adik, itu baru ga boleh!"
Saya hanya bisa menghela nafas untuk menghindari adu argumen dengan ortu. Lagi-lagi saya membatin, 'benar-benar ga adil nih. Enak banget ya yang jadi anak bungsu karena dibela terus.'

Kasus lain,

Suatu hari, di rumah saya kedatangan saudara kampung yang mengadukan tentang tetangganya,
"Si Mina benar-benar ga punya hati. Sudah tau adiknya mau melahirkan, eeh dia malah pergi ke luar kota. Kan kasian adiknya ga ada yang mendampingi. Apalagi Ibunya kan sudah meninggal."
Mendengar keluhan ini, lagi-lagi saya bersimpati kepada orang yang bergelar kakak. Bagi saya ya wajar saja si kakak itu pergi ke luar kota. Pasti ada kepentingannya. Apalagi adiknya itu sudah mau melahirkan anak yang keempat. Dan sudah menjadi tanggung jawab suami, pastinya. Lalu, kenapa lagi harus dengan kakak?!

Dari kasus-kasus ini saya berfikir, sebenarnya sejauh apa sih peran seorang kakak? apakah seorang kakak hanya punya kewajiban tanpa perlu diberikan haknya?
Jika antara kakak dan adik ada sebuah masalah, apakah sebagai orang tua, kita sudah adil menjadi seorang hakim? Karena salah dan benar bukan dinilai dari faktor mana yang besar, mana yang kecil tapi siapa yang benar, siapa yang salah? Jika ternyata si bungsu yang salah, apa tidak sebaiknya mengajarkan dia sedini mungkin untuk meminta maaf atas kesalahan tersebut kepada kakaknya?
Selain itu, jika sebagai orang tua, kita menuntut si kakak untuk sayang kepada adiknya. Apakah kita juga sudah mengajarkan si adik untuk dapat menghormati kakaknya?

Tulisan ini mengajak kita sebagai orang tua untuk melihat kembali semua kebijakan yang telah kita terapkan di rumah. Apakah antara si kakak dan si adik sudah memiliki hak dan kewajiban yang seimbang? Jangan sampai niat kita untuk mendidik kakak agar menyayangi adiknya malah jadi bumerang yang akhirnya menimbulkan dendam tersendiri dalam diri si kakak, gara-gara ia selalu disalahkan dan adiknya selalu dibela.

Ternyata dari rumah, orang tua harus belajar menjadi hakim yang bijak. Tentu saja jika ini sudah dapat kita terapkan, anak-anak akan tumbuh menjadi pribadi-pribadi yang selalu membela kebenaran. Insya Allah.

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